FHM Cup - A Wee Trip To Glasgow...

Off tomorrow on the train to Glasgow.

My football team got themselves into the Scottish heats of the FHM magazine 6-a-side football tourny to be held on Monday night at the Glasgow Green Football Centre.

So, 8 hours on a train, followed by a visit to a famous Glasgow curry-house followed by a visit to some salubrious Glaswegian pubs. Oh aye, there's actually some football involved too...!

Looks like my photie is going to be in next month's FHM, too...

I'll try to get some digipics of my own. There's going to be a few FHM girls there as well!!!

Much credit to the boys who have raised around £600 to cover travel and accommodation expenses. Means we only have to take beer and curry money!

Will report back afterwards.

Worth A Slap???

Read this - then ask yourself...

Would you like to give him (or more importantly, his parents) a right good slap?

I would.

Computers! Damn Them All To Hell.....

At last! I'm back online!

I had a wee set-back on Thursday, when my PC crashed. Not your normal sort of crash, but serious. No, make that SERIOUS.

Windows wouldn't boot up, kept getting a screen asking to start in safe-mode.

"OK, that should work, and I'll be able to sort it out, nae bother" says your hapless correspondent.


Some bother later, and I haven't got an effing scooby! So, after fruitlessly asking my whizz-kid nephew for assistance I had to move on to 'Plan B'.

After getting home from the pub (slightly pissed out my face?!?!) on Thursday night, I search out all the old installation cds and proceed to re-install Windows.....

I mean come on, how was I to know that everything (files, settings, mp3's, emails, more importantly all the Wife's stuff too....every-fucking-thing in fact) would be wiped from my hard-drive??

*Repeat after me - "I Must LearnTo Back-Up" *


Ach well, at least the PC is running really fast now, though......

Amerika ist Wunderbar....

We're all living in Amerika
Amerika ist wunderbar
We're all living in Amerika
Amerika
Amerika

We're all living in Amerika
Amerika ist wunderbar
We're all living in Amerika
Amerika
Amerika

Wenn getanzt wird will ich führen
Auch wenn ihr euch alleine dreht
Lasst euch ein wenig kontrollieren
Ich zeige euch wie's richtig geht

(If you’ll dance I’ll guide you
Even if you turn to leave
Let go of a little control
I’ll show you how it really goes)

Wir bilden einen lieben Reigen
Die Freiheit spielt auf allen Geigen
Musik kommt aus dem Weißen Haus
Und vor Paris steht Mickey Mouse

(We’re building a beloved dancing circle (round dance)
Freedom plays on the violin
Music comes from the White House
And outside of Paris stands Mickey Mouse)

We're all living in Amerika
Amerika ist wunderbar
We're all living in Amerika
Amerika
Amerika

Ich kenne Schritte die sehr nützen
Und werde euch vor Fehltritt schützen
Und wer nicht tanzen will am Schluss
Weiss noch nicht dass er tanzen muss

(I know which steps are very useful
And I’ll shootout (point out) your mis-steps
And whosoever isn’t dancing at the end
Doesn’t know that they must dance)

We're all living in Amerika
Amerika ist wunderbar
We're all living in Amerika
Amerika
Amerika

We're all living in Amerika
Coca Cola, Wonderbra
We're all living in Amerika
Amerika
Amerika

This is not a love song
This is not a love song
I don't sing my mother tongue
No, this is not a love song

We're all living in Amerika
Amerika ist wunderbar
We're all living in Amerika
Amerika
Amerika

We're all living in Amerika
Coca Cola, Sometimes war
We're all living in Amerika
Amerika
Amerika

This is a song by a German Industrial Metal band called Rammstein. And damn fine it is too. The translations are rough at best, but the general feeling is unmistakeable.

The interesting thing about this song, and the album it is taken from (Reise Reise)is that it seems to be the most successful release they have ever had in the good ol' US of A....

I'll leave you to make up your own minds about that......

Me? A Pie-Eating Champion....?

HA! You betcha....!

"CONGRATULATIONS! You finished the pie in 15 bites. You are the new pie eating champion!"

And if enough people ask,I will tell you how I did it..!!!
(It was quite easy, after all those hassles!)

Pie Eating Contest!

Try this Pie Eating Contest!

It's driving me nuts!! I can finish it in 16 bites...

Can anyone else do any better?

Mmmm, pie......

God Bless You, Mr McC...

Just been watching the new Celebrity Big Brother (I know, I know...) and have been pissing myself laughing!

John McCrirrick has just said:-

1)- "Each fart you do adds 10 minutes to your life (rids the body of poisons!)"

2)- "Picking your nose (and eating it...!) is good for you..."

3)- "It's better to go out with ugly birds, they're more thankful for what they get...!"


Fuck me, J McC! You're not gonna last too long in there, mate!

Spoiling The View....?

I don't think so!

There has been much trouble and strife amongst the locals concerning the erection of Wind Farms. Most were against the decision, feeling that they'd be an unwelcome eyesore in our beautifully desolate countryside.

I went out this afternoon and took a few 'photos. These particular windfarms are literally yards from the main A9 south to Inverness. There's about 25 there, in total.

As it was the first time I'd actually seen them, my initial reaction was somewhat subdued. I mean, they aren't really that intrusive, they aren't monstrous carbuncles and they only occupy a couple of old farmer's fields.

The views of Morven and Maiden's Pap are not ruined by them (in fact, as we arrived both were quickly being obscured by a fast moving rainstorm, heading OUR way!) and they seemed to just sit in a field, whirring away quietly to themselves!

In fact, at night I'd like to see them floodlit, with lights on the vanes and everything...!

People travelling up the A9 at night would be able to see thm for miles...

What More Can Be Said...?

Well, things have been a bit slow on the blog-front recently.

News-wise, there really is only one story. Tsunami.

I've thought about commenting on the scale of the tragedy, but it's all been said better by others (like Birdman). I couldn't really add anything.

However, there was something I heard last night on the James Whale show on TalkSPORT radio last night that kinda disturbed me.

Apparently (i.e., I have no proof of this! You'll have to take his word for it!) Oxfam last year made something in the region of £64M through their vast range of shops. But the running costs of this empire amounted to around £49M!

As I said, I have no corroboration, no proof except the words of Mr James Whale. He might be wrong.

But if he's right, then please be careful about where and to whom you donate money. It's all too easy to chuck a few quid in the bucket outside Tescos, but how do you know what happens to it after that?

Jings, if even Oxfam can only put 25% of the money donated to a good use, then what of the others?

Here We Go Again...!

Ahh, a new year, new opportunities, a chance for new experiences in this big wide ever-changing world...the opening of new doors leading to fantastic new adventures and even the chance of new friendships and relationships...


Same old fucking hangover though.....

Wishing a happy, healthy and wealthy New Year to all!