The Things People Say...........

OK, time to introduce you to one of the ‘locals’.

To begin with, I have a story about ‘MarbleMooth John’, so called because he talks like he has marbles in his mouth all the time! It makes it quite difficult to understand him, but after 10 years of (mainly drunken) conversation I have now developed the necessary skills to understand him (most of the time!). He's a good guy, but sadly is rather taken with the drink. In fact, many times have I poured him into a Taxi.

Anyway, it was just after the new bosses took over the Hotel (about 4 years ago, now), spending huge amounts of money turning it from a money-losing waste of non-revenue-earning space, into a respectable 3 star modern hotel.

They were just getting the Kitchen fully operational again after many years of neglect, so as an experiment they decided to put on a special dish for the regulars – Stovies!

Now, everyone knows what ‘stovies’ are? Right? Tatties, onions, Lamb and some dripping. All mixed up together. Slop a dollop on a plate, and eat it with a fork (and some pepper to season it!). Nice and easy to make, and a firm favourite in the cold northern winter.

So the sign goes up – ‘Stovies: £1.50’
....And many hungry and grateful patrons queued up to part with their 1 pounds and 50 pences.

And it was good.......

But not Mr MarbleMooth. Being a wily old crofter at heart, John views bargains with a suitably suspicious eye. With a sly look at the sign, MarbleMooth pipes up with a guarded tone in his voice:-

“Stovies? £1.50?.....But how many do I get……?”

The whole Pub went incredulously quiet. Just for a second or two...

Then cue uproar……………