Big Shug, and the 'Poachers'

Big Shug

In the old days, the bar was an old-fashioned spit-and-sawdust type place. You know, dirty ashtrays, worn carpet-tiles on the floor, strange smell from the ‘toilets’ (in fact, strange smells from the customers!) and the like. Huge mirrors on the walls, with old out-of-production brewer’s names emblazoned on them. Since all the new refurbishments however, the old regulars have largely stopped coming in. (All I have left now are the memories…!)

It had a great atmosphere though, and the chances for wind-ups and practical jokes were huge. Chief protagonist in these japes was ‘Big Shug’.

Now Big Shug is so named as that’s what he is – BIG – and his name is Shug. So there you go. He was, and still is, 6’2” tall, 18 stone and built like the proverbial barn door (I love mixed metaphors!). Quite intimidating at times, but always good to have on your side rather than against you. A keen Fisherman, Hunter and an excellent Butcher to trade, Big Shug would always have 'something' to do, or a 'bit of business' to attend to. We all know the type, yes?

So, we had a new Barman start in the hotel. His name was Ronnie and he was a young whipper-snapper, his first job serving the public and he was a bit gullible to say the least. Wet-behind-the-ears, as you might say.

Anyway, Ronnie ended up with the Sunday Afternoon shift, which usually meant that Big Shug would be in at some point. And so it was. The conversation went something like this:-

"Good day, Sir! What can I get you?" says Ronnie.
"I'll have a pint of Lager, please. You're new here aren't you?" replies Shug.
"Aye, the name's Ronnie."
"So, what do you think of your first day so far?"
Well actually, I'm feeling a wee bit nervous. I was told there are some 'bad types' on the go today." says Ronnie, with a worried look on his face.
"Really, what's going on?"
"The Pub is being watched by the Police. They're looking for poachers!"
"Uh-huh! Poachers, you say! Do you know who these Poachers are?"
Leaning over, looking furtively left and right, Ronnie whispered "Well, the name I was given was 'Big Shug'……"

Now at this point, Big Shug played a blinder. Rather than get all upset and start to cause any bother, Shug calmly shrugged “Nope, I’ve never heard of him……”.

As the afternoon went on, everyone who came into the Bar greeted Big Shug with the customary ‘Alright Shug?’, ‘How’s it going Shug?’ and ‘Fancy a drink, Shug?’.

Now, imagine what was going through young Ronnie’s mind as the afternoon went on, and the penny ultimately dropped. The mental anguish he must have gone through!

Ronnie understandably took himself off into the Office, and would scarcely come out in embarrassment. And when he did come out, Big Shug made sure that Ronnie’s attention was caught. It couldn't go on much longer. Eventually, things had to come to a head…….

It must have taken all the courage in his scrawny little body to summon up the strength to apologise, face to face with Big Shug. But apologise he did, and then stood back trembling, ready to receive his expected rebuke……

Big Shug, to his eternal credit, just laughed.

And laughed.

Big, whole-hearted, resounding roars of laughter, which only made poor Ronnie more anxious.

“Never mind, my boy. The look on your face as the day went on is punishment enough! But if you don’t mind, can you tell us who put the idea of Poachers into your head….?”

Ronnie had no hesitation in shamelessly grassing up Rosy Old Jim, the Bar Manager (at the time), for he was at the foot of this particular jape.

Whether Jim thought it was funny by the time Big Shug caught up with him is a different story!

Coincidentally, Ronnie didn't last much more than a week………