So, they've decided to cut down our trees (well, they're not ours, just the ones that are in the town square) because the birds are congregating on them, and shitting on the ground, which causes an awfy smell?
Jesus H! What are the council road sweepers for? Should they not be clearing the mess up, rather than just cutting down all the trees? Or even get rid of the birds! We could get a council cat to patrol the area. All it would cost is the frequent rescue fees from the fire brigade!
What purpose do these birds serve? W£hat the fuck are they for?
A couple of weeks of pot-shots from the local rifle club, and we'd be rid of them for good. But no, the council wouldn't spend their (or should I say, our) cash on cleaning the corpses from the streets, would they?
No, they'd far rather shift the problem sideways and just cut down all the trees.
Where do they reckon these flocks of starlings will go? Do they seriously think that they'll all just shuffle off back to their nests like a football crowd going home after an abandoned game? No, they'll migrate to the nearest group of trees, probably down by the riverside, where they'll continue to stink up the place.
Despite what it says in the above article, there's nothing wrong with the trees - they are pretty much perfectly healthy.
This is just idiotic council cost-cutting of the laziest kind.
Wednesday, August 31, 2005
Monday, August 15, 2005
The End Of The Mini-Stalker Episode...
It came as a shock to us all...
A mini-stalker, appearing at our door two or three times a day, annoying us by hanging round and offering to help us with the garden, in return for the endless reinflation of tyres.
But, in scenes reminiscent of the Iranian Embassy Seige, the offending mini-stalker was hunted down like a wild animal, and banished forever from our door.
All it required was some welding gear, an irate neighbour and one small, ginger, mini-stalker!
Ahh, the peace and quiet is marvellous....
(I'm sure I'll tell the full story one day!)
A mini-stalker, appearing at our door two or three times a day, annoying us by hanging round and offering to help us with the garden, in return for the endless reinflation of tyres.
But, in scenes reminiscent of the Iranian Embassy Seige, the offending mini-stalker was hunted down like a wild animal, and banished forever from our door.
All it required was some welding gear, an irate neighbour and one small, ginger, mini-stalker!
Ahh, the peace and quiet is marvellous....
(I'm sure I'll tell the full story one day!)
Friday, August 05, 2005
Ya Gotta Laugh....?
Copied and Pasted directly from Overheard In New York!
And Lo! 'Tis funny...
Chick #1: I went back on birth control this month. I'm using the Ring, except I don't know if I'm using it right. I don't want to take it out every time we have sex.
Chick #2: Wait, you shouldn't have to take it out during sex.
Chick #1: That's what I thought. Except, maybe I'm using it wrong, but I had sex and then afterward we couldn't find it.
Chick #2: It can't get lost up there!
Chick #1: It went so far up my cooter. And I swear I must have put my whole fist in there to fish it out.
Chick #2: There's nowhere for it to go! It can't get past your cervix.
Chick #1: How far up is my cervix?
Chick #2: Well, depends how long your vagina is. I think everyone's is different. Maybe you have, like, a subway tunnel in there.
And Lo! 'Tis funny...
Chick #1: I went back on birth control this month. I'm using the Ring, except I don't know if I'm using it right. I don't want to take it out every time we have sex.
Chick #2: Wait, you shouldn't have to take it out during sex.
Chick #1: That's what I thought. Except, maybe I'm using it wrong, but I had sex and then afterward we couldn't find it.
Chick #2: It can't get lost up there!
Chick #1: It went so far up my cooter. And I swear I must have put my whole fist in there to fish it out.
Chick #2: There's nowhere for it to go! It can't get past your cervix.
Chick #1: How far up is my cervix?
Chick #2: Well, depends how long your vagina is. I think everyone's is different. Maybe you have, like, a subway tunnel in there.
Stalker Update...
Well, our mini-stalker problem hasn't got any worse. Or better.
Every day he's at the door, yesterday he arrived on three separate occasions.
I've told him not to ring the doorbell, as The Wife is on night-shift and was woken up by him at lunchtime on Tuesday. So now he just knocks on the door...
I've re-inflated his tyre three times, straightened his handlebars twice and put the chain back on three times. The last time the chain came off, I couldn't unravel it. He came back later that day with it all fixed. He'd done it himself...
I've told him that his front tyre has got a slow puncture, and to take it to the bike shop for repairs.
But why should he? Every time it goes flat there's some mug living in yon house over there who'll fix it for nothing!
I've tried asking why his Dad won't fix his bike for him, but he said that his Dad isn't a "biker person" like me.
The Wife is getting on my back about the constant interruptions, but she won't do anything about it! It's my job, apparently...after all, it's me he comes to see...
Trouble is, I don't have the heart to just tell him to "Fuck off and don't bother us again!"
Soft as shite? Me ?
You betcha....
Every day he's at the door, yesterday he arrived on three separate occasions.
I've told him not to ring the doorbell, as The Wife is on night-shift and was woken up by him at lunchtime on Tuesday. So now he just knocks on the door...
I've re-inflated his tyre three times, straightened his handlebars twice and put the chain back on three times. The last time the chain came off, I couldn't unravel it. He came back later that day with it all fixed. He'd done it himself...
I've told him that his front tyre has got a slow puncture, and to take it to the bike shop for repairs.
But why should he? Every time it goes flat there's some mug living in yon house over there who'll fix it for nothing!
I've tried asking why his Dad won't fix his bike for him, but he said that his Dad isn't a "biker person" like me.
The Wife is getting on my back about the constant interruptions, but she won't do anything about it! It's my job, apparently...after all, it's me he comes to see...
Trouble is, I don't have the heart to just tell him to "Fuck off and don't bother us again!"
Soft as shite? Me ?
You betcha....
Tuesday, August 02, 2005
...And About Time, Too!
Monday, August 01, 2005
Some Advice Please...?
Last Thursday, I think, there was a knock at the door. It was a wee laddie with his bike.
"Aye?" I says.
"Sorry tae bother ye Mister, but huv' ye goat a pump fur ma' bike..?" he says with a broad Edinburgh accent.
"Aye, I do! Here, I'll give you a hand."
So I go out, and his front tyre was nearly flat. I take my handily placed bicycle pump and proceed to reinflate his tyre. He was just a wee laddie, ginger hair and quite inquisitive. And really polite.
As I'm pumping the tyre up, he apologises - "Ah'm sorry fur comin' tae yer door, mister", to which I can only say "It's no bother". Well, it's not often you see such politeness from one so young.
So, bike back in order, he's off into the distance with the friendly advice - "Keep an eye on that tyre, it might have a slow puncture..." ringing in the late afternoon air.
At this point, I thought that'd be the end of it. I'd done my good deed for the day.
Couple of days later (Saturday), we're due a delivery of 2 tonnes of stone-chips for the garden, and they duly arrive in the morning. The Wife has arranged the borrowing of a 'borrow, and she arrives with it in the late afternoon.
So, with the garden all covered by the recommended groundcloth stuff, I proceed to shovel these 2 tonnes of chips, transporting to The Wife in the garden via the aforementioned wheelbarrow.
Halfway through this monumental (or just mental?) task, who should show up?
That's right, the wee ginger lad. With questions.
WGL - "What are ye doin', mister?"
TMBTB - "I'm shovelling these stones into the wheelbarrow, and taking them to the garden"
WGL - "Can I help?"
TMBTB - "Sorry, but no, it's too heavy for a wee laddie like you."
At which, he decides to start filling a pail with these stone-chips, and carry them into the garden. Next thing, The Wife has got him collecting the stones that have fallen on the ground (off my shovel!).
"Good!" I'm thinking. "That'll keep him out of trouble, and out of harm's way."
Even when we adjourned for a break, he still wanted to carry on. We had to tell him we were going for our tea before he took the hint. And off he went.
For a while.
Half an hour later, The Wife and I are back at it again, nearly ¾ done now, and from nowhere, he's back again.
As we're finishing off the job, and packing everything up, I hand him a pound coin. He seems really surprised at this, and grasps it tightly.
As he's cycling off, he says "Thanks for the pound, mister!"
"No bother wee man, you earned it!" I reply.
"OK, I'll see you tomorrow then...."
Me and The Wife were left just looking at each other.
And this morning?
The Wife goes to hang up some washing, and there he is. Again asking questions.
She comes back indoors, where I'm nursing stretched and sore muscles, and says "What are we going to do about him?"
Well, what can we do?
10 minutes later, it's raining and she has to go back out and take the washing back in again. He's still there. Asking questions.
He's everywhere, following our every move!
Fucking hell, we're being stalked by a 7-year-old !
So, my question to you all (or both of you, I've been checking my site stats!) is:-
How can we dissuade this charming, polite, inquisitive yet utterly annoying wee pest from haunting our every footstep, without causing alarm or distress?
"Aye?" I says.
"Sorry tae bother ye Mister, but huv' ye goat a pump fur ma' bike..?" he says with a broad Edinburgh accent.
"Aye, I do! Here, I'll give you a hand."
So I go out, and his front tyre was nearly flat. I take my handily placed bicycle pump and proceed to reinflate his tyre. He was just a wee laddie, ginger hair and quite inquisitive. And really polite.
As I'm pumping the tyre up, he apologises - "Ah'm sorry fur comin' tae yer door, mister", to which I can only say "It's no bother". Well, it's not often you see such politeness from one so young.
So, bike back in order, he's off into the distance with the friendly advice - "Keep an eye on that tyre, it might have a slow puncture..." ringing in the late afternoon air.
At this point, I thought that'd be the end of it. I'd done my good deed for the day.
Couple of days later (Saturday), we're due a delivery of 2 tonnes of stone-chips for the garden, and they duly arrive in the morning. The Wife has arranged the borrowing of a 'borrow, and she arrives with it in the late afternoon.
So, with the garden all covered by the recommended groundcloth stuff, I proceed to shovel these 2 tonnes of chips, transporting to The Wife in the garden via the aforementioned wheelbarrow.
Halfway through this monumental (or just mental?) task, who should show up?
That's right, the wee ginger lad. With questions.
WGL - "What are ye doin', mister?"
TMBTB - "I'm shovelling these stones into the wheelbarrow, and taking them to the garden"
WGL - "Can I help?"
TMBTB - "Sorry, but no, it's too heavy for a wee laddie like you."
At which, he decides to start filling a pail with these stone-chips, and carry them into the garden. Next thing, The Wife has got him collecting the stones that have fallen on the ground (off my shovel!).
"Good!" I'm thinking. "That'll keep him out of trouble, and out of harm's way."
Even when we adjourned for a break, he still wanted to carry on. We had to tell him we were going for our tea before he took the hint. And off he went.
For a while.
Half an hour later, The Wife and I are back at it again, nearly ¾ done now, and from nowhere, he's back again.
As we're finishing off the job, and packing everything up, I hand him a pound coin. He seems really surprised at this, and grasps it tightly.
As he's cycling off, he says "Thanks for the pound, mister!"
"No bother wee man, you earned it!" I reply.
"OK, I'll see you tomorrow then...."
Me and The Wife were left just looking at each other.
And this morning?
The Wife goes to hang up some washing, and there he is. Again asking questions.
She comes back indoors, where I'm nursing stretched and sore muscles, and says "What are we going to do about him?"
Well, what can we do?
10 minutes later, it's raining and she has to go back out and take the washing back in again. He's still there. Asking questions.
He's everywhere, following our every move!
Fucking hell, we're being stalked by a 7-year-old !
So, my question to you all (or both of you, I've been checking my site stats!) is:-
How can we dissuade this charming, polite, inquisitive yet utterly annoying wee pest from haunting our every footstep, without causing alarm or distress?
Saturday, July 30, 2005
At Last....Normality resumes...
Well, after a long, long summer of sport, including Sir Clive's disastrous 'English' Lions Tour of New Zealand, the collapse of Henman Hill (and subsequent rebuild into Muray Mound (WTF?)), along with Golf's wonderful, yet utterly predictable Open Championship at St. Andrews, the legend of Lance Armstrong winning 7-Tour-De's-in-a-row then quitting at the top, to England's dashed hopes after winning a few 20/20 matches aaginst Australia which had them triumphantly parading The Ashes before a ball was thrown in anger, it's time at last to welcome real sport back onto the daily calendar.
Welcome back the SPL!
Welcome back the SPL!
Thursday, July 21, 2005
Wednesday, July 20, 2005
Did You Miss Me?
Ach, I'm back....sort of...
Decided to take a rest from 'blogging, as I can't be arsed to be honest! Content recently has been a bit pish, and I haven't really been visiting the Blogosphere to catch up with things either.
Been reading a lot of these Internet Message Boards though, and there is some quality funnies to be found. Here's one someone else prepared earlier....(credits to 'AMW-r1ckw', whoever he is!)
"Hello, and welcome to the mental health hotline....
If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.
If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to the mother ship.
If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, telephone number, date of birth, credit card number and your mother's maiden name.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9 If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
If you are manic-depressive, it does not matter which number you press; no one will answer.
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press.
If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want.. Stay on the line so we can trace your call.
If you have low self-esteem, please hang up. All of our operators are too busy to talk to you."
Now I could have done a wee diatribe about the futility of these damnable automated answering services, and how bloody annoying they are, and how the easy way to actually get to speak to someone real is to wait until all the options are read out and the call gets diverted to the one person who's actually really there....but I won't.
I'll try to be back soon.
Decided to take a rest from 'blogging, as I can't be arsed to be honest! Content recently has been a bit pish, and I haven't really been visiting the Blogosphere to catch up with things either.
Been reading a lot of these Internet Message Boards though, and there is some quality funnies to be found. Here's one someone else prepared earlier....(credits to 'AMW-r1ckw', whoever he is!)
"Hello, and welcome to the mental health hotline....
If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.
If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to the mother ship.
If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, telephone number, date of birth, credit card number and your mother's maiden name.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9 If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
If you are manic-depressive, it does not matter which number you press; no one will answer.
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press.
If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want.. Stay on the line so we can trace your call.
If you have low self-esteem, please hang up. All of our operators are too busy to talk to you."
Now I could have done a wee diatribe about the futility of these damnable automated answering services, and how bloody annoying they are, and how the easy way to actually get to speak to someone real is to wait until all the options are read out and the call gets diverted to the one person who's actually really there....but I won't.
I'll try to be back soon.
Friday, July 08, 2005
Coming Home...
I had considered writing something about the happenings in London yesterday, but I really can't think of the right thing to say. So, I'll concentrate on things closer to home for me.
Well, The Wife is on her way back from Glenrothes today, in fact she'll be back in less than 2 hours.
The sight of various nefarious types conducting running battles through the sleepy, timid streets of an early morning Auchterarder reminded me of the rioters in Belfast at the heights of the troubles there.
Reports of injured policemen taken to hospital, only for the protesters to follow and attempt to disrupt their treatment!
These people are not protestors (nor anarchists) at all. They're just idiotic wee students, fooled into believing they are on some ort of crusade.
One guy, on camera, complaining about getting a truncheoning (?) after getting too close to the perimiter fence at Gleneagles was asked by a journalist "Sir, why were you standing so close to the fence?" to which truncheonee says "I..I..I was trying to make my voice heard!".
Journo then says "Well, you have a TV camera there, now's your chance. Make it heard".
All he could say was "Look what they did to me!"
Idiot. A true campaigner or protestor would have had a here's-one-I-prepared-earlier diatribe against western capitalism and the war in Iraq.
Anyway must dash, time to wash the dishes and hoover the floor, and weed the garden, and do all those things I said I would do when she was away...
Well, The Wife is on her way back from Glenrothes today, in fact she'll be back in less than 2 hours.
The sight of various nefarious types conducting running battles through the sleepy, timid streets of an early morning Auchterarder reminded me of the rioters in Belfast at the heights of the troubles there.
Reports of injured policemen taken to hospital, only for the protesters to follow and attempt to disrupt their treatment!
These people are not protestors (nor anarchists) at all. They're just idiotic wee students, fooled into believing they are on some ort of crusade.
One guy, on camera, complaining about getting a truncheoning (?) after getting too close to the perimiter fence at Gleneagles was asked by a journalist "Sir, why were you standing so close to the fence?" to which truncheonee says "I..I..I was trying to make my voice heard!".
Journo then says "Well, you have a TV camera there, now's your chance. Make it heard".
All he could say was "Look what they did to me!"
Idiot. A true campaigner or protestor would have had a here's-one-I-prepared-earlier diatribe against western capitalism and the war in Iraq.
Anyway must dash, time to wash the dishes and hoover the floor, and weed the garden, and do all those things I said I would do when she was away...
Monday, July 04, 2005
Live 8
Spent most of yesterday (and some of today) watching the coverage of Live 8 concerts, from all over the world.
Was watching out for specific artists of course - Motley Crue, Bon Jovi, Def Leppard, Deep Purple, The Who and Pink Floyd uppermost in my viewing schedule.
One thing I realised after the event, was how the older rockers managed to put on such a great show, with all the above showing real Rock Star qualities - something that the younger, up and coming bands need to learn from. A lot.
Bands like Coldplay and Travis came across as shoe-gazing scruffy students, dull and introspective. I mean, come on! Where's the fucking SHOW?
Christ, I could just sit at home and play your CDs with the EQ all fucked up, through some really crappy speakers to get the same fucking effect...!
Got to admit, Robbie Williams does put on a good show. He's a rock god in the waiting, that boy...if only he'd cut out the sentimental shite ballads, he'd be up there with Rob Halford and Bon Scott as a frontman.
So, I was well impressed with Motley Crue in Toronto - they just came out and rocked the place, but just older and a bit fatter! Encouraging to see Mick Mars actually walking about on stage! By the accounts in "The Dirt" I half expected him to get wheeled about in a wheelchair or something...
Bon Jovi just were! A band born for the big stage.
Def Leppard put in an unsurprisingly American performance, complete with dodgy lead vocals. No surprise there, but at least they did act like Rock Stars!
Deep Purple were brilliant too - even without Ritchie and Jon, and even though both Ian Paice and Ian Gillan look as if they are 70! A cracking dose of classic rock!
The surprise of the day (for me) was The Who..
I've never really been much of a fan of theirs, and I only know a few of their songs. Yet they really put on a good show, an ageing but still lively burst of strained and stretched guitar and vocals, all fitting in well with their unmentioned backing band members.
Pink Floyd, while not being my type of thing, seems to have stolen the show.
(Not really that hard to do I suppose with only a surprisingly sweary (!) Madonna and the aforementioned Robbie Williams even coming close.)
Good to see the Floyd band members all getting on so well together after all the acrimony and backstabbing over the last god-knows-how-long!
Biggest Disappointment? - Velvet Revolver. Came across as true Rock Stars, but failed to deliver musically. In my opinion, they should ditch the dodgy singer, write some great rock songs, and get back on the drink and drugs...
(A bit of credit is due to the Stereophonics, who at least tried to wake the London crowd up early doors. Showed a bit of promise, and a fair bit of Rock Star quality.)
One last thing - Watch the re-runs of all the concerts on US AOL and UK AOL. At least there is none of that infuriating Jonathon Woss, and that utterly vacuous bint off of TOTP...Fern Cotton is it?
Was watching out for specific artists of course - Motley Crue, Bon Jovi, Def Leppard, Deep Purple, The Who and Pink Floyd uppermost in my viewing schedule.
One thing I realised after the event, was how the older rockers managed to put on such a great show, with all the above showing real Rock Star qualities - something that the younger, up and coming bands need to learn from. A lot.
Bands like Coldplay and Travis came across as shoe-gazing scruffy students, dull and introspective. I mean, come on! Where's the fucking SHOW?
Christ, I could just sit at home and play your CDs with the EQ all fucked up, through some really crappy speakers to get the same fucking effect...!
Got to admit, Robbie Williams does put on a good show. He's a rock god in the waiting, that boy...if only he'd cut out the sentimental shite ballads, he'd be up there with Rob Halford and Bon Scott as a frontman.
So, I was well impressed with Motley Crue in Toronto - they just came out and rocked the place, but just older and a bit fatter! Encouraging to see Mick Mars actually walking about on stage! By the accounts in "The Dirt" I half expected him to get wheeled about in a wheelchair or something...
Bon Jovi just were! A band born for the big stage.
Def Leppard put in an unsurprisingly American performance, complete with dodgy lead vocals. No surprise there, but at least they did act like Rock Stars!
Deep Purple were brilliant too - even without Ritchie and Jon, and even though both Ian Paice and Ian Gillan look as if they are 70! A cracking dose of classic rock!
The surprise of the day (for me) was The Who..
I've never really been much of a fan of theirs, and I only know a few of their songs. Yet they really put on a good show, an ageing but still lively burst of strained and stretched guitar and vocals, all fitting in well with their unmentioned backing band members.
Pink Floyd, while not being my type of thing, seems to have stolen the show.
(Not really that hard to do I suppose with only a surprisingly sweary (!) Madonna and the aforementioned Robbie Williams even coming close.)
Good to see the Floyd band members all getting on so well together after all the acrimony and backstabbing over the last god-knows-how-long!
Biggest Disappointment? - Velvet Revolver. Came across as true Rock Stars, but failed to deliver musically. In my opinion, they should ditch the dodgy singer, write some great rock songs, and get back on the drink and drugs...
(A bit of credit is due to the Stereophonics, who at least tried to wake the London crowd up early doors. Showed a bit of promise, and a fair bit of Rock Star quality.)
One last thing - Watch the re-runs of all the concerts on US AOL and UK AOL. At least there is none of that infuriating Jonathon Woss, and that utterly vacuous bint off of TOTP...Fern Cotton is it?
Thursday, June 30, 2005
Lazy, Bored, - Damn Summertime...
Well, been a bit indolent here recently, so a wee update for you all!
The Wife is away (since Sunday) at this G8 conference, working in the nerve centre in Glenrothes as part of the S-PICC team. She's expecting to be a bit busy over the weekend! She even got her fizzog on the telly on Tuesday - they were doing a news piece about the S-PICC and there she was, bending over a table with some coppers!
Unfortunately, I'd recorded it on VHS, but hadn't checked to see if the VCR was connected properly since the house-flitting, and ended up with a recording of a black screen instead. Bloody technology!
As soon as she went off on Sunday, I was straight onto Crucial.com to order a RAM upgrade for my PC. Good thing she left her credit card behind!
Two days later, package arrives and I'm digging in the back of the computer installing the new RAM. Now the PC is running like a dream, fast as f...er,...a fast thing indeed! It's like getting a new PC (but for just £35). Should've done it ages ago!
Wednesday was my fortnightly trip on the bone-rattler through to Wick for to sign-on. Uneventful as usual, except for the journey back. A couple of tourists (husband and wife I presume) sat behind me on the bus and he was giving her a running commentary all the way, just spouting random rubbish about the countryside. I'll give you a wee rundown of some of the pish he was talking:-
1 - "It's quite gentle scenery up here, lots of rolling hills and fresh pastures, isn't it darling?", to which she replies "Yes, dear.."
Aye, that's 'cos the wind has flattened everything in its path.
2 - "The cows and the sheep seem quite happy to share pastures with each other, don't they?" - "Yes, dear..."
What, like you'd expect them to be fighting for territory?
3 - "There's Georgemas Junction over there, I wonder how it got its name? It's like Christmas, but with George instead..." - "Yes, dear..."
Dear God, what next?
4 - "And now we're going to Halkirk, it's like Falkirk, but with an 'H'.." - "Yes, dear.."
And now I am physically laughing out loud!
All in all, a worthwhile journey!
The Wife is away (since Sunday) at this G8 conference, working in the nerve centre in Glenrothes as part of the S-PICC team. She's expecting to be a bit busy over the weekend! She even got her fizzog on the telly on Tuesday - they were doing a news piece about the S-PICC and there she was, bending over a table with some coppers!
Unfortunately, I'd recorded it on VHS, but hadn't checked to see if the VCR was connected properly since the house-flitting, and ended up with a recording of a black screen instead. Bloody technology!
As soon as she went off on Sunday, I was straight onto Crucial.com to order a RAM upgrade for my PC. Good thing she left her credit card behind!
Two days later, package arrives and I'm digging in the back of the computer installing the new RAM. Now the PC is running like a dream, fast as f...er,...a fast thing indeed! It's like getting a new PC (but for just £35). Should've done it ages ago!
Wednesday was my fortnightly trip on the bone-rattler through to Wick for to sign-on. Uneventful as usual, except for the journey back. A couple of tourists (husband and wife I presume) sat behind me on the bus and he was giving her a running commentary all the way, just spouting random rubbish about the countryside. I'll give you a wee rundown of some of the pish he was talking:-
1 - "It's quite gentle scenery up here, lots of rolling hills and fresh pastures, isn't it darling?", to which she replies "Yes, dear.."
Aye, that's 'cos the wind has flattened everything in its path.
2 - "The cows and the sheep seem quite happy to share pastures with each other, don't they?" - "Yes, dear..."
What, like you'd expect them to be fighting for territory?
3 - "There's Georgemas Junction over there, I wonder how it got its name? It's like Christmas, but with George instead..." - "Yes, dear..."
Dear God, what next?
4 - "And now we're going to Halkirk, it's like Falkirk, but with an 'H'.." - "Yes, dear.."
And now I am physically laughing out loud!
All in all, a worthwhile journey!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)