Did You Miss Me?

Ach, I'm back....sort of...

Decided to take a rest from 'blogging, as I can't be arsed to be honest! Content recently has been a bit pish, and I haven't really been visiting the Blogosphere to catch up with things either.

Been reading a lot of these Internet Message Boards though, and there is some quality funnies to be found. Here's one someone else prepared earlier....(credits to 'AMW-r1ckw', whoever he is!)


"Hello, and welcome to the mental health hotline....

If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.

If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.

If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.

If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to the mother ship.

If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, telephone number, date of birth, credit card number and your mother's maiden name.

If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9 If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.

If you are manic-depressive, it does not matter which number you press; no one will answer.

If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press.

If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want.. Stay on the line so we can trace your call.

If you have low self-esteem, please hang up. All of our operators are too busy to talk to you."



Now I could have done a wee diatribe about the futility of these damnable automated answering services, and how bloody annoying they are, and how the easy way to actually get to speak to someone real is to wait until all the options are read out and the call gets diverted to the one person who's actually really there....but I won't.

I'll try to be back soon.