Dottled

We hear many stories about old people going senile and forgetting stuff. In the cold light of day it's not nice and not really very funny.

However, it's hard not to laugh when you hear some of the tales. '70s Ian was in recently and told me the story of his dear old Grandmother….


Apparently, his Grandmother started to go a bit dottled when her husband died, and would often search for him, muttering things like 'Where's he got to now?' under her breath. It was often Ian's job to go out and search the streets for his long deceased Grand-dad and to bring him back 'home'.

Now, put yourself in Ian's shoes here. Are you going to waste time and effort tramping the streets looking for someone who you clearly had no chance of finding?

Or are you going to do what Ian did, and sneak round the back of the house and smoke a cigarette or two before going back to dear old Granny with the proclamation that you 'couldn't find him'?

Anyway, this one time Ian is sent to the pub to fetch his Grand-dad back for his tea. Off Ian goes as usual, a few puffs and back to Granny with the customary bad news…..'Grand-dad isn't in the pub. I couldn't find him anywhere….'.

To which Granny says, with a sympathetic hand on an incredulous Ian's arm:-

"Och, Ian my poor loon, didn't you know your Grand-dad's been dead now for two years…?"