Canny Scots Create Muckle Archive...?

Today is St. Andrew's Day.

BBC News reports that an online archive has been created which aims to record the Scottish dialect in all it's glory.

Some of them have to be seen to be believed! I'm quite sure that, much like the language of Shakespeare and Pepys, most of these words are now defunct. And long may they remain so....

Honest to fuck, who uses the word 'sonsie' anymore? Just people reciting Burns, that's all!

These words are DEAD! Let them lie.

And none of the local Caithness dialect words are included (no "Scorrie" or "Deek" or "Boug" for instance)....but then, maybe we are not Scottish?

Have a deek at the site here.

Interesting Music Site....?

Found THIS on the electrical interwebnet and thought it was interesting.

What you do is enter your favourite musical artist, and the site draws a sort of mind-map of other related, or similar artists.

I searched for "Freedom Call", and found out about "Rhapsody" and "Avantasia" who are both quite similar in style.

I've no idea how extensive it is (it doesn't recognise some of my more obscure tastes - no "Life After Death" or "Princess Pang" for instance!), but well, I thought it was interesting!

Go on, give it a go, you know you want to....

Music Piracy? I Feel Another Rant Coming Along.....

I got an MP3 Player for my birthday recently, and have spent the last couple of weeks studiously filling it with MP3s ripped from my *extensive* CD collection...

I have also illegally downloaded quite a few albums worth of tracks via a P2P file sharing program, and have transferred them on to said player with no qualms concerning music copyright whatsoever.

The reason for this cavalier attitude is quite simple.

I am a music fan. I like music. I want to have music.

Why should I not have access to music? As a *pretend* musician myself, I understand the copyright laws as much as the next man. I realise that by downloading Judas Priest's "British Steel", I'm shirking my responsibilty to the music industry, and depriving a band I have always quite liked of the princely sum of (in this case) £7.99 (which they really must need to keep all their legal battles against each other going...).

But, as I already have paid for this particular album 20 odd years ago, why should I have to pay for it again? It's just the medium that has changed.

Is it against the law for me to play my old "British Steel" cassette into my PC, and rip the tracks onto my MP3 Player? I don't think so...I paid for that - it's fucking mine!

So, what's the big deal?

OK, so I have also downloaded a few albums that I haven't heard before - "Dance Of Death" by Iron Maiden for one, but in all honesty I really wouldn't have bought this without hearing it anyway. And after listening to it quite a bit, I don't think it is worthy of my cash...I never contemplated buying it before, and my original decision has been vindicated.

Similar with "Toxicity" by System Of A Down - now I have downloaded it, and actually quite like it so far, I most likely will go out and buy the CD, just because I can then have it properly on CD. So SOAD (and the whinging multi-national music company conglomerates, who earn multi-millions of dollars selling bollocks like Britney and Ashlee Simpson to impressionable kids) get a positive result through file sharing!

I remember well the campaign in the early 1980's - "Home Taping Is Killing Music!" with a skull and crossbones underneath, plastered on nearly every LP and cassette.

All I can say is" "Utter Tosh"...

If home taping was killing music, how come music has survived, in fact no, how come it has flourished? It can't have been the campaign, as everybody ignored it! Everybody borrowed albums off each other and copied them at will! Now with CD burners, it still goes on....

There's one thing that gets on my tits, though.


How come, if the music industry is losng so much money through file-sharing, they can still afford to produce the type of musical diarrhea that gets into our "Charts" every week? Who buys this crap?

If the music industry spent more money on A&R, signing proper musicians who can actually play and sing, and even write their own songs, and promoting their songs in musical collections, or "Albums" instead of fly-by-night one-hit-wonders, then perhaps they would see a return on their outlay....

Instead of mercilessly ripping off the poor 10 to 14 year olds who only now what to like through reading fashion comics and watching Saturday morning kids television....

"The Only Thing I Know Is That I Know Nothing...."

Every now and then sport throws up an interesting, or amusing, or downright unbelievable story.

And THIS definitely qualifies under the latter category!

FFS, what's the reasoning behind Socrates agreeing to play for a non-league team in Yorkshire? Why on earth would he ever agree to do such a thing?

As I said, unbelievable!


*OK, come on then footie-fans, which ageing foreign (preferably Latin/South American) former superstar would you like to see signing for your local pub team? I like the idea of Gigi Riva and Teofilio Cubillas...imagine how good they'd be now...!

Band Aid 20 - A Follow Up....

A just found THIS on Twenty-Major's 'blog, and laughed myself a bit silly...

Very funny, and yet so true...!!

They should have written a new focking song.....

Racism & Xenophobia.....

So, a wee bit of a dust-up over in Madrid last night?

Everyone seems to be jumping on the bandwagon here, criticising the racist monkey-chants from a small section of the Bernabeu crowd.

I'm not making excuses for it, but it's an issue which was stoked by the media into an unlit petrol-doused bonfire, just awaiting a spark.

Undoubtedly, there were ugly chants directed at Ashley Cole and Shaun Wright-Philips. I heard them.

But, why were these chants not aimed at Rio Ferdinand or Jermaine Jenus? And why did the chanting stop after Ashley Cole was subbed? Jermaine Defoe, Cole's replacement, was ignored by the thugs. Why?

And in the aftermath, why has the talentless, sterile performance by the England team been ignored also? Or Rooney's dishonourable behaviour in throwing his black armband (to commemorate an England legend) to the ground in disgust?

Here's the Spanish Press reaction (as provided by the good ol' Beeb!).

And as an aside, I noticed last night's commentator (I forget who?) mentioned the fact that Scotland were 4-1 down at home to Sweden, with the comment "And Sweden don't even have a full squad!"

Well for your information, nor did Scotland......

But then we expect that sort of reaction from these people.

In my opinion, it's time some people stopped whinging about racism in a foreign country, and instead looked at the inherent xenophobia that pervades their own country.....

Band Aid - Bollocks, it is....

Band Aid 2004, it's bollocks so it is.

I heard it on radio today, and the rumours are true.

They can't sing it. They all sound out of tune. They all are out of tune!

No surprise there, then. Modern 'Pop' music is shit (v. 281).

We'd all be better off donating to a worthwhile charity instead.

At least then we won't have this god-awful cd cluttering up our beloved music collections (which we have spent decades building up, and which contains NO crap cds or records*).

I urge you all to make a small, meaningful donation to a charity of your choice instead of inflicting misery on your nephews and nieces this Chrimblemas. I'm sure they will understand......


*Except for the ones the Wife has bought - most of them are kept hidden from prying eyes. And no point in telling me that G'n'R-Appetite For Destruction is yours, so you must have musical taste my dear - I can throw back Elton John, Bryan Adams and Bon Bloody Jovi at you , just to prove my point....

What Kind Of Metal?

Thanks to Mosh for this!


You are traditional/thrash metal. Iron Maiden and
Metallica are representive of you. Air raid
siren vocals, distorted melodies, brisk paced
songs, lots of technical solos and of course,
terrible taste in clothing and hair styles.


What sub-genre of metal (music) are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

I Woke Up This Morning....

...at 0600hrs, laughing my sleepy head off!

I'd rolled over in bed, and accidently nudged the wife with my knee. She thought she must have been hogging all the bed and rolled over towards the side to give me more space.

Unfortunately, she promptly rolled out of bed with a "thud-ud-ud-ud....." before sheepishly jumping back in.

It took me half an hour to stop laughing!

Cat Experiment (Part 2) - The Hobbes Effect

Here are the latest results from the Great Catnip Experiments.


What a ruse, I thought. Apply liquid catnip to the tail of a cat! Would said puss react favourably towards its own tail? I originally conducted this experiment on my own cat, to general indifference.

I then wondered (scientifically, of course!) whether the application of catnip to one cat would elicit a response from another cat?

Having passed the liquid catnip to 70's Ian, he proceeded to liberally douse one of his five cats with said fluid, and retired a safe distance to record the expected stramash....

Apparently, almost the same thing happened with his cats as happened with mine!

Nothing! Just some curious sniffs at the area affected, and then a general ignorance, from both the cat affected and the others who were unaffected.

My scientific findings can reveal that my previous theoretical formula (a + b = √c)* holds true. This is henceforth to be known as 'The Hobbes Effect', after my original guinea-cat.

With this scientific corroboration, can I now apply for Government funding to further investigate this new-found scientific phenomenon? These findings open up a whole new world of further unanswered questions.

For instance, what would happen if catnip was applied to another living creature, say, a dog? Would the intoxicating cat-nippiness be similarly subdued?

Further revelations as and when they are, er, revealed!



*(Where a = cat, b = catnip and c = fuck all.)

Och, Berti, My Berti....

So the tabloid morons finally get their wish, and Berti resigns....

Worst of the criticism has arguably come from Charlie Nicholas and Gordon McQueen, both respected former Scotland internationals.

I remember both when they played for Scotland, and although Gordon helped provide some happy memories (especially a win or two against the Auld Enemy), Charlie's Scotland career was strangely subdued - perhaps because he was such an under-achieving waster, a Scottish George Best if you will. He undoubtedly had the talent, but never quite managed bring it with him every match day. More famous for his mullet and 'Champagne Charlie' lifestyle than his goals.

And now, repackaged as a Sky Sports anal-yst, he brings mediocrity to new levels...
(Quite how a man of such limited intelligence can make a handsome living at a job which requires a modicum of linguistic ability leaves me speechless. Much like I'd prefer Charlie, in fact...)

So now that MacBerti has chucked it, do we now see Charlie & Co. sending CV's to Hampden, applying for the vacant job?

Do we fuck.

Why?

Because these people know nothing about the game, or how to manage a team (never mind the National Team).

And anyway, they know more than most that waiting in the wings there is always some talentless tosser waiting to hammer them for every unpopular decision, every mistranslated quote, and every unfortunate defeat.

These lap-dogs have made quite enough money out of this 'schadenfreude', and I for one am not happy about it...

Anyway, good luck Berti, and I hope you can finally get to meet up with Charlie Nicholas and the rest to discuss your Scotland career.....hopefully down a dark alley, with a baseball bat in your hand.